I have the urge to commit to something new, like picking up a new interest or something like that. I got no idea why. This voice in my mind keep telling me that I shouldn't waste my life away, and I need to do something meaningful and beneficial. Or maybe even to add colours to my boring life. Well, Marcus told me that is cause I have been feeling empty inside, which I can't exactly tell for myself.

But, think again, school is starting, and that means tons of things to do, especially they said that year 2 will be our busiest time in CMM. Other than school, I still have to manage between church and family. It is hard to compromise these 2. Is like, I am not at all confident that I will be able to balance these well once my school starts. Church and family seem to be like fire and water, I sorta know that it is impossible to have both and yet I want both, refusing to give either up.

Several ideas came to my mind too. Some of them include, looking for a job to get extra income. Even so, the job must allow me to do it discreetly so that my parents won't find out since they strongly object to me working and studying at the same time. I was tempted about photography and was considering to buy a DSLR. However, an afterthought never fail to come immediately - I cant exactly hold a DSLR due to my shaky hands, which means I won't be able to take good photos. Moreover, if I were to buy a DSLR, I might as well invest the money on my braces first which is so much more practical.

Besides, I feel like taking up extra classes, maybe drawing, singing, dancing etc. However, I don't think that I have enough money to allow myself to learn constantly. My bank account is almost dried by now, and I money is flowing out instead of rolling in. Guess, my topmost priority is to get myself additional incomes. No money, no talk.

All of a sudden, I feel like I need to try a lot of things. I feel so, turtle sometimes.. There are so many things out there to be attempted but I never tried them. But is thinking of having so many commitments a good thing? Or would I be drained totally after some time due to the hectic schedules? Even so, I believe that one thing is for sure - I no longer want to waste my time away. I want to explore as much as I can, I WANT TO LIVE LIFE!