It has been some time since I last posted, should combine what happened these few days into one again. Well, I'm supposed to rehearse my co-hosting and finish up my last Broadcast Journal, but I want to blog about these few days when the impressions are still within me.

Friday
Went to visit my cousin at her Fish Soup stall! Managed to close only a pillow pad, but still, at least better than nothing. She was super steady. When I approached her, the first thing she asked was how much and there she went to withdraw money from the ATM. Steady right? I was completely taken aback, and nodded my head, rooted to the spot. Then, my mentor asked me, " Why didn't you ask her to get another pillow pad for herself?"

I was still blanked out at that time, and it took me seconds to recover. There I went, taking another pillowpad and ran after her, trying to close more deals. Again, this time I failed. How many times have I failed to close deals? Even I myself lost track of that. But oh well, my confidence level is seriously not there, and yea, again, I failed to close the supposedly second deal.

This day wasn't a good day. I mean, quite glad that I managed to sell something, but my mentor was very sick. I wonder if is just that he is suffering from the stress syndromes or he has contracted gastric flu. As far as I know, the symptoms that he was having, was quite similar to the time that I had gastric flu back in my secondary school days. Not only he had diarrhea, he puked terribly too. In the end, he had blood shot eyes and a queasy stomach till he ate a banana hoping to reduce the uncomfortable feeling. Thankfully, that banana did help.

Hope he recovers soon, I really respect and admire him as a mentor. Got lots more to learn from him as I grow in VE..

Had a small talk with my BGM, Mr Eric. Man, he is really a very convincing speaker. Well, sort of expected that he will come and talk to me, cause I'm really taking far too long to reach my SE position. But, I get to know him better, he can read eyes and body language real well. As we might say, he is afterall a super experienced BGM, nothing from the newbies can be hidden from him. Thus, the talk was more about how I can strive harder for my promotion, which in fact is cause I wasn't really putting my wholehearted effort. I had to agree, I was too used to playing around with what I have and not wanting to step out to see what is available out there.

Saturday
Went to church today! Guess what, I wasn't that late today! Is this an improvement? Again, church people never fail to make me do random and wonderful things for the first time. First, after service, we went to the Science centre and played on some of the kiddy things there like Trampolin and Fireball. Don't underestimate these kiddy stuff. I was so restrictive and fearful that I didn't even want to try to ride them..After a while, I did have some attempts reluctantly, which I didn't enjoy cause I felt uncomfortable and awkward.

Then, on our way back, we cut through this condo. Oh yes, on our way to Science centre, we climbed over a private living estate's fence since we were all taking the shortcut - another first attempt in my life. Yea, on our way back, we decided to play a while in the playground of the condo. They encouraged me to sit on this wheel that is like a merry-go-round, and someone would spin it. The spinning was so fast that it felt like we were in a time-travel machine somehow. Amazing right, but I didn't like it too, I thought it was too adventurous for me. Haha, this shows how timid I'm brought up. After a while, it felt fun for a moment - when we all felt like we were traveling back in time. But, in return, we all got very busy, I was staggering when I got out of the wheel.

At night, a handful of us went to Leroy's place for dinner. Leroy and Michael were cooking for us! Both the brothers are awesome cooks! =D We had pasta, chilli crab, stir-fried chicken, and chicken-potato soup. Filling dinner, I helped out a tiny little bit in the cooking also. Really insignificant help. Because all I did was to try to kill 2 crabs. At the start, I didn't really want to kill, but after the first attempt, I found it so fun that I wanted to kill the other again. =) Funny me huh.

Dinner that night was really marvelous! Despite all the fun, there were work to do too :( After all the good food and clearing up, was rehearsing with Leroy on our co-hosting. Irritating co-hosting, spoiler of the night. Stayed there till about 11 plus, and yea, almost had to cab home somehow because by the time I reach Tampines, I wouldn't have any transport home but cab cause I was heading home from Yio Chu Kang..

Anything and everything can happen, gotta believe in that. Just as I was leaving, i called my mentor, wanting to get the presentation file from him, cause I was supposed to have an appointment on my own, on Sunday (which is the next day). Tada, help had arrived! He decided to pick me up from Yio Chu Kang MRT to head off to office, to get the file and send me home. Transport hom is settled! =D

And oh my tian, I would never believe this, he rode a bike to come and pick me up! I've never ridden on a bike before! I had no choice but to get the lift with the bike. AGAIN, another first attempt - to ride a bike! Wow, so many first times in a day :)

Tremendously horrified with the ride for the first, 10 min? It felt so much like a roller coaster for a first-timer like me! Then, my manager comforted me and told me that there was nothing to be scared of cause he was the one riding. Somehow, the first thing that came to my mind, was what I learnt in VE - trust, believe and follow. Yea, I have to trust him as a rider, and what's more he is my mentor whom I always looked up to and seeked guidance from. Upon regulating my breathing and changing the way I thought on riding, I overcame the fear and guess what, I enjoyed the whole trip back!

Met a handful of other BMs when we reached office, and we all stared at each other. Mr Adrian and I stared at them cause they were washing a car outside office when it was almost 12 midnight, while they stared at Mr Adrian and I cause firstly I was the passenger on the bike and we returned to office around 12 midnight... Hahax! Super late timing, I got his locker keys, rushed back to office to get all the files and relevant things out. After that, Mr Adrian rode me back home and had a small briefing on my plans for tomorrow.

Overall, the ride was amazing. Till now, I still can't believe it, just on that 3...values - trust, believe and follow- I was totally enlightened. A sudden rush of confidence swept through me, er, I think it was the speeding effect on the highway and yea, I suddenly felt that I became confident since I managed to be back in one piece safely after a bike ride all the way from Yio Chu Kang, to Eunos, and eventually back to Tampines. Just on the ride alone, I seemed to thought through a lot of things, and I am prepared for Sunday! Woohoo~

Sunday
Father's Day today. Another first time too! Today was the first time my sister brought me to facial. Virgin facial trip, and was with my sister somemore! Miraculously that my stingy sis was willing to sponsor me. Maybe I shouldn't call her stingy anymore, since that facial wash was freaking 80 bucks...

After the facial, went back home first, and had another debate with my dad. But this time, it wasn't so much of a debate, cause....I MANAGED TO CLOSE A SINGLE FROM HIM! Cool right? I am finally promoted to SE!! Like finally!! The talk took quite long, but still, it was worth it. All the hard work and perseverance were paid off. But on the downside, yea, I approached my dad for help again.. :(

After the deal, my dad and I went to meet up with my mom and sis at Tampines 1 for our parents' day dinner. If you are wondering why parents' day, is actually because my family missed our very own mother's day dinner for this year's mother's day. Thus, as a make up, we combined both father's day and mother's day dinners, we get parents' day dinner..

Short dinner we had, but glad that everyone enjoyed the food at Dian Xiao Er. It was a typical Chinese restaurant, and the food is pretty nice. Worth trying =D I suppose, this is what we call quality family time spent?
8:43 AM By Tan Yi Ling Eileen

Sorry guys, gonna be another ranting post again...
10:08 AM By Tan Yi Ling Eileen

No matter who you are or where you are; my dearest guardian angel, this is my post to you:

I really, really need courage.

Facing my dad, to me, is the scariest thing ever. So many years have passed and yet he remains to be my fatal weakness. I don't know how to talk to him, seriously.

Everytime, when I see him, I will go speechless. Even in times when I need help, I am so desperate to hope for people to help me, nevertheless, I will never approach him unless I really need to.

I hope that when you know about this post, you will help me with this problem. I need to find a way to break the barrier. This has been going on for so long and there has been no improvement.

Joining VE is one route that I chose to build bond and break the ice between my parents and I. However, till now, I still do not have the courage to break the barrier. I really need to break it this time. Please bless me that it will be a smooth sailing one. And I hope that you will guide me in approaching him to help me in terms of my work especially...
9:03 AM By Tan Yi Ling Eileen

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