Firstly, school is hectic, projects after projects to be submitted. When deadlines are near, we have to even try and do a couple of projects and assignments on the same day so that we can hand in on time.

Yepps, and I failed to hand in my Single Camera Proposal, on time. Single Camera was a 9 am tutorial, oh my tian. I can still remember how many cock ups there were! Engine school cant print, Design school too many people, Library too many people, Mac Lab colour printer cant print colour exactly.. In the end, I reached class at 9.04. That means, 4 marks gone.

Well, I still managed to get a B for it though, MIRACULOUSLY.

Meanwhile, sometimes, I do think, why do I even choose my course? I mean, yea I know myself having a passion for media industry, like hosting, singing, dancing etc. But, after coming to the course, I realise, I'm not one who can really shine that well on stage afterall. Perhaps is cause I'm still not used to it? But I definitely miss the time when I was performing on stage for Guitar Ensemble. The thunderous applause and feeling of satisfaction and motivation has been etched in my memory. Till now, I can still remember exactly how it felt and how great it was. At the very least, I know that I have given myself a chance to try. Maybe I'm suitable or maybe I'm not. Or maybe I'm born to be a backstage helper than to be the one to shine in the limelight? I still don't know. There are sure times that I feel that I would be much happier if I chose the Dip in Business. But, it is already too late for me to change. Oh well, have to persevere for the next couple of years then.. :(((

Next up, work. Work has been pretty enjoyable for me. At least till now, I know that I'm learning a lot, improving leaps and bounds I feel. The feeling there is like, fear but satisfying. Main reason, joining them, makes me face myself. That sounds weird? Hahas, but yea! Somehow, the company seems to be tailored according to my fears and weaknesses and I am trying to face up to these fears and challenges in order to improve myself and move on.

So, everytime when I reach there, I would be quite fearful at first, I'm trying to face what I have been trying to escape for the past how many years..But after that, I would tell myself, "Eileen, if you don't face up to these problems, nothing is solved. It will just be like a vicious cycle."

Then, I would at least "force" myself to breakthrough. Still trying, but I know I will succeed. Because I am trying. Trying = at least 50% succeed, if give up, there is 0% chance of breaking through.

Thus, I'm still learning how to face reality. I MUST BE ABLE TO DO IT! I SHOULDN'T BE SUCH A COWARD TO CONTINUE RUNNING AWAY FROM IT! 18 years of escapism, it's time to wake up!

Held at Siloso Beach at Sentosa. Again, I went during late afternoon together with Pamela and Joel after my service. Oh, service on that day was interesting, cause it was Parents' Day. They actually combined both Fathers' and Mothers' Day into 1, and I got an umbrella as a gift to my Dad. The cooking team did MASSIVE cooking. They actually cooked for 300 people! It was such a huge proportion that they started preparing since the day before. DELICIOUS! Pity that I only ate very little, cause I rushed to Sentosa after that.

Now, back at Sentosa, I learnt to play Volleyball, not that much Frisbee this time. Nevertheless, volleyball was awesome! I played till my arms were badly bruise, right till now, it is still recovering. Despite the pain and bruise, I really, really liked it a lot. I got to know a handful more of SLs this time too! More friends made again. ^^ The Volleyball craze is another new and pleasant experience for me. And I believe that it would be a memorable one. Looking forward to the next Sentosa outing with the SLs!

Yepps, as many of you know and even received my calls, I'm working now! Maybe that's pretty obvious as my quality in schoolwork is falling below standard. I'm still trying to find a balancing point between school and work. This is so much harder than I thought, but I would not give up! I faithfully believe that I will be able to excel in both.

I got the job offer in an amazing way. So...amazing that I wonder at times if this is something that God sent me. Reason being, I have been looking for part-time jobs for several weeks, hoping to be able to find flexible working hours like tuition, so that I can earn extra income to buy what I want. For instance, braces and DSLR. And guess what, one fine day, when I was busy surfing the net, my up-line called me to ask if I'm interested in a part-time job that she has to offer.

Thus, I went down to the company for the orientation programme, met some of the managers and colleagues there, got to know more about the company. That was how I ended up having the part-time job there. After that, there came my trainings and recruitments.

People there are young and friendly. They really can talk and influence people. Perhaps that's why most of them have this very unique aura of charisma surrounding them. Some of them are so charismatic and influential that they managed to hold my attention throughout their talk.

I even went for their monthly Badge Presentation Ceremony and witnessed even more capable young talents. They sure have great capabilities to get promoted. Also, I got to know my other colleagues in my team too!

After the ceremony was a Power - Up event, as far as I know, the one that I went for, was an extraordinary one. I am honoured to say that my first Badge Presentation Ceremony cum Power Up event was conducted differently coincidentally. For the Power Up event, it was conducted by this amazing speaker. HE IS REALLY A POWERFUL SPEAKER. Honestly speaking, I felt that speaking my Public Speaking Lecture to attend the event was really worthwhile. He made me see for myself how good a speaker was he. And, he was doing Public Speaking! I really learnt a lot on that day, was touched by his speech that he gave.

Before I get carried off with praising the speaker for his persuasive speech, we played some ice-breaking games that he conducted too. Through the games, I get into contact with some of the newcomers, like me, and also some of the managers of the company. However, I must say that I don't really remember their names and faces now already. Oh well, will get to meet them quite often next time :)

On the other hand, school has been sucky. (maybe is cause I'm more interested to work) Seriously, I have been underperforming. Super obviously underperforming. That's definitely not a good thing, cause this year, everyone is working extremely hard and they are overtaking me. Meanwhile, I am still slacking in school cause I felt more passionate about work than school for the moment. If I were to asked for the reason, I would say that I feel more comfortable interacting with the people that I work rather than my course.

Sometimes I really wonder if I had chosen the wrong course. Seriously speaking, I don't feel at all happy during my times in the course, and guess what, it is already the second year, and I don't find any value or tints of happiness. (I mean, set aside the As I get - that's bragging. But I mean in terms of friendships made, assignments, modules etc)

Till now, maybe I am grateful for scoring some modules which I had never expected to be. I am thankful for knowing Leroy because he introduced me to Christ and let me felt much better than before cause I am starting to feel more hopeful. Interesting I must say, from one who never believed in Christ and thought that people who does are brainwashed, to someone who actually thinks that I felt that he's around taking care of me. A totally different perception, but it's true!

Went for Jam & Hop in school during evening. I almost forgot to record that down. That was the second time I went for Jam & Hop, but first time staying throughout. The ambience was really high and we really 'danced' as we heard the music. The live band was marvelous, they hyped up the environment so much that everyone was high, jumping, swaying, dancing to their songs and the beat. The DJ wasn't that nice in a sense that the songs he played had contrasting tempo. Like, a very fast and catchy song, next an RnB song. So our mood were went very high, the next song low, and then high up again. That was really tedious and hard to enjoy actually.

Despite so, I got to know that the DJ had a motive of playing such contrasting songs. It turned out that it was for our good. He was trying to prevent us from losing control after getting so high. Thus, he tried to lower the tempo down consistently to make sure that we didn't go overboard.

Met many of my friends there, I was enjoying myself with the SLs and I saw some I-guides. Danced with some Freshies from Applied Science, and met people in my course who joined in after helping out for CNN day, which I missed, before the Jam and Hop.

Before going for Jam and Hop, I met Marcus for a movie at Marina Square and I was desperately late for that. I squeezed in too many appointments on that day. Firstly, I tried to make use of pockets of time to do my school work since I am balancing between work and play. However, I miscalculated the time. I tried to buy some necessity, photocopy documents and conduct research before meeting him at 12pm. I must have thought that I was a Superwoman seriously.

End up, I was 40 min late. Luckily he gave me ample allowance time to be late. We managed to make in on time for the movie - Ip Man 2! It was a nice movie. Love the actions and fighting part. Since it focused mainly on the fighting scenes which is what I'm interested in, I stayed awake throughout, watching intently on how they fight.

After the movie, we walked around Marina Square and chill. We shopped, we talked and even went to Suntec to continue our journey. That day was a bit of philosophical. But nevertheless, thanks to that, he made me realised something - if everything were to happen based on what you have known, that doesn't give you any less pain if you know that you are going to fall. However, if you never knew that you were going to fall, you will still feel pain.

In comparison, the pain might not be intense as with the situation that you already predicted or expected to happen. Reason being, your mind won't be reminding you, "You will be in pain. You are in pain, cause you are at your downfall now"

From that, I come to a conclusion that I shaln't be so afraid to try, to plan every step finely that I want every upcoming situation to happen accordingly to what I imagined. I don't want to feel more pain, especially when the more pain is coming from my mind after thinking too much that what would happen or have happened in lieu with my plans. I want to feel less pain, and 1 way is to do things that I have never dared, or never planned to do. Is another breakthrough for me, isn't it?

That's all that I can remember at the moment. More to come, since I am so busy with school and work, which means, blast of activities lying ahead of me!