Before I break down into the 3 days, I shall say my general thoughts and feelings before I forget.

Firstly, this is the second time I attend this event. I was brought in cause of this event. Really big thanks to Leroy who brought me in. I really have many new experiences and joy after joining you guys. Also, I feel that thanks to you guys, I think I am getting to know myself better. However, for this year, instead of being a guest, I am the photographer! It is another first time for me, taking photos out of assignments.

Day 1 - Friday.

It is the very first day of the event and I get to use the 5k camera that the Pastor borrowed. Awesome camera, superb built-in. 18-200mm zoom lens, 2 shutter buttons to take potrait and landscape shots respectively, in-built flash. OMG. Really cool! But super heavy. I was very stressed up while holding the camera. Not only I felt restricted by by the weight, I was very stressed up while holding such an expensive camera.

Thus, for the first night, I took considerably few photos as an event photographer. And yea, they kinda suck.

The programme for the first night seemed to be customized for me! Pastor Ben talked about astronomical grace. Wow, a night of outer space, be it galaxies, speed of light or atoms. The content totally reminds me of the day when I was out with Marcus at East Coast. Both of them said similar contents. It was really a night of enjoyment. Wowsome!

Day 2 - Saturday

This night was even more, amazing. I met Shaun from I-guides! Is so unbelievable. I met someone I know! It turns out that he is Cheryl's cousin. So coincidental right? There's also a skid acted out by Kenneth and I think Mark or Shane. I exchanged camera with Leroy cause the Nikon 5k camera was so heavy that I woke up today with both my arms aching. Salute Leroy for able to handle such a heavy camera. Fortunately, the photos were so much better.

The debriefing took quite long this night. A handful of us started to joke around while waiting for it to end and go home together. We started teasing Shaun and making fun of him, calling him horse. LOL right. And we wanted to walk to the MRT station together. I ended up accompanying Kenneth together with Shaun cause he had $182 worth of 1-dollar coins to deposit. When he was depositing, we can hear the loud noises of the coins falling into the thingy that counts the number of coins there is. There is even a charge per coin! I can't remember if is was $0.02 or $0.75...

Day 3 - Sunday

Last day of Youth Alive, very exhausted. Everyone seem to be on a 'low battery' mode. I was very lost today in setting a theme on the photos to take. It was quite quiet, and suddenly I felt that there wasn't much to take. Very lost. But oh well, still took some photos with the help of Joash in the macro shots of food and guidance from Leroy. Totally no confidence in the photos for the last night. Apologies for the lack of professionalism ethics, but I really didn't put in my best tonight. It was like taking for the sake of taking and spamming the photos in Joash's camera.

These 3 days of Youth Alive really made me think a lot. I won't include them in this post before I turn this into another thousand words boring essay. But in short, I think that there are some decisions to be made. I can't run away any longer. It's not gonna be any good at this rate. But making decisions really ain't my thing. As a Libra-ian, I am so used to be in the balance that I usually refuse myself to be thrown off my comfort zone.

In addition, I realised that I have psychological barrier when it comes to photography. Like very, very obvious, especially after comparing my photos with Leroy's. Maybe that's the greatest difference between an extrovert and introvert? Or maybe that's my personality? Or there is a hidden fear in which even me myself aren't clear about? But in a nutshell, I think that it is quite a great psychological barrier and it is greatly affecting in the quality of pictures I am taking. After viewing the photos I took, I realised I really, really suck at Photography. I kinda realised that. Seeing the photos that I take, I only have a comment for them which is "the pictures suck" and of course, the main reason is me - there is no way a sucky photographer can take good pictures. Apologies to Youth Alive for using me as your photogrpaher. Really sorry, that I didn't do a good job in shooting. No wonder I couldn't score in Photography in CMM. Got a damn C+ for it. But look on the bright side, I cleared the module afterall. Maybe that's a hint that I shouldn't do Photography afterall...