Firstly, school is hectic, projects after projects to be submitted. When deadlines are near, we have to even try and do a couple of projects and assignments on the same day so that we can hand in on time.

Yepps, and I failed to hand in my Single Camera Proposal, on time. Single Camera was a 9 am tutorial, oh my tian. I can still remember how many cock ups there were! Engine school cant print, Design school too many people, Library too many people, Mac Lab colour printer cant print colour exactly.. In the end, I reached class at 9.04. That means, 4 marks gone.

Well, I still managed to get a B for it though, MIRACULOUSLY.

Meanwhile, sometimes, I do think, why do I even choose my course? I mean, yea I know myself having a passion for media industry, like hosting, singing, dancing etc. But, after coming to the course, I realise, I'm not one who can really shine that well on stage afterall. Perhaps is cause I'm still not used to it? But I definitely miss the time when I was performing on stage for Guitar Ensemble. The thunderous applause and feeling of satisfaction and motivation has been etched in my memory. Till now, I can still remember exactly how it felt and how great it was. At the very least, I know that I have given myself a chance to try. Maybe I'm suitable or maybe I'm not. Or maybe I'm born to be a backstage helper than to be the one to shine in the limelight? I still don't know. There are sure times that I feel that I would be much happier if I chose the Dip in Business. But, it is already too late for me to change. Oh well, have to persevere for the next couple of years then.. :(((

Next up, work. Work has been pretty enjoyable for me. At least till now, I know that I'm learning a lot, improving leaps and bounds I feel. The feeling there is like, fear but satisfying. Main reason, joining them, makes me face myself. That sounds weird? Hahas, but yea! Somehow, the company seems to be tailored according to my fears and weaknesses and I am trying to face up to these fears and challenges in order to improve myself and move on.

So, everytime when I reach there, I would be quite fearful at first, I'm trying to face what I have been trying to escape for the past how many years..But after that, I would tell myself, "Eileen, if you don't face up to these problems, nothing is solved. It will just be like a vicious cycle."

Then, I would at least "force" myself to breakthrough. Still trying, but I know I will succeed. Because I am trying. Trying = at least 50% succeed, if give up, there is 0% chance of breaking through.

Thus, I'm still learning how to face reality. I MUST BE ABLE TO DO IT! I SHOULDN'T BE SUCH A COWARD TO CONTINUE RUNNING AWAY FROM IT! 18 years of escapism, it's time to wake up!