Had my first outing with Mr Adrian's BM Group today, and i totally forgot to bring my camera.. How sad to miss my virgin's experience with these guys. But anyways, today's outing was lots of fun. We played LAN, ate KFC, ate Botak Jones (I think it is called like that) and caught a movie - Karate Kid.

I kept tearing during the movie cause my contacts were like almost falling off. But the movie is one key factor that triggered the tearing too. Meaningful movie - guess what, it taught us lots of VE values that can actually be applied in our everyday lives. For instance, emotional closing, breaking your limits, perseverance and many more!

Well, all these are the good memories that I have for the day. Now, time for all the unhappiness...

I am still running away from the reality. No matter how much I'm willing to accept myself for cowardice, but I'm really running away. My parental appointment. How many weeks have I been pushing back to close deals. I could have closed it weeks ago, but guess what I'm still stuck at. Just that few simple yet powerful words, they just won't come out from my mouth, and I'm not moving on at at all. How pathetic is that.

I need the strength, to actually open my mouth and be expressive to what I need. I really need the strength and the only source of the strength and courage, is only myself. ME MYSELF. Now, finally the time, when I have to face everything myself, no one to rely on. Honestly speaking, I have received too much help in the past that I have become over-reliant. Perhaps, it has reached a stage so bad that is also known as weaklings. But seriously, Marcus, Mr Adrian and Ms Sherry, they have been helping me too much more than I could ask for or in fact, I should ask for. I feel really bad and weak whenever they see me stressed up and come and talk to me...

I know I got to move on. I have to get back to my feet. I need the courage. But, only one way to do so, is to break free every thing within me, or I should say all the strength beneath me, and to approach the reality, the things that I have been running away. I shouldnt have given myself so long to run away...